Diary Entry No. 10.20c
Baby Disasters?!

10-20-01

I've been buying baby strollers lately. They've been running a sale on them down at the Baby Depot on West Ave, in the Tri-County Shopping Centre. $14 for a baby stroller. I spent what's left of my life savings and bought 5 of 'em. I like to leave them unattended in parking lots. One time I left my neighbors new puppy in one and the authorities gave it to some blind kid who wouldn't give it back. Most of the strollers I just roll into intersections. That's the best bang for the buck I find. And you know I don't want to waste my money. Not when it comes to baby disasters. This must be the 10th entry in a row to talk about babies. What the fuck? One day the baby people are gonna be knockin' on my door and I'm gonna have to talk my way out of a lot of shit. Why do you think I stopped talking about midgets everyday? It costs me $88 just to say "midget" now. This entry alone costed me $178. I'm gonna bail out now if you don't mind.