Diary Entry No. 3.28c
Miss New Wingdale Is A Sexy Bitch


I went to a beauty pageant today. I go to those every now and then, to destroy the feelings of some fragile girls. I got to watch the Miss County pageant, down at the County Center... When the girls walk on stage I like to say things to people sitting next to me, like "I hope she doesn't win. Her ass is too big.." or "Look at the nose on that one!" Sometimes I throw quarters at them too. It's the best when they fall. People who fall never win the beauty pageant, I find. It's like 10 points off or something. This year, like every year, Miss New Wingdale won. They always home the winners, some real beautiful people they have in that town. Unlike Deer Creek, which hasn't been allowed to enter the pageant in 15 years. They have asbestos in the schools I think, and they just are a bunch of hicks to tell you the truth. They shouldn't be allowed to share the same stage as New Wingdale, our county's pride and joy.