Diary Entry No. 4.9c
Robot Frank's New Job: Slaughter House.

04-09-01

I got a job at the slaughter house. It's my job kill the cows. On the application, I said I am a killing machine, then proceeded to list all the various animals I have experience in killing. I lied and said I killed a tiger, because I thought that would impress them. And I also failed to mention I've killed humans also...

A lot of things go on down at the slaughter house that you might not expect... It's not a rare occurance for somebody to buy a cow freedom at the last minute. I've been paid good money to sneak a cow or two off the line... In the cow world, it's not what you know. It's who you know. I'm not supposed to talk about it, but just last week Michael Jackson saved an old friend... Twenty seconds later and she would have been hamburger meat. But now she's doin' the moonwalk with Bubbles and Whacko Jacko. Not all cows are as lucky as Michael's pal. That cow from Pee-Wee's Playhouse, the one that always poked her head in the window... Pee Wee found out about her unfortunate situation one day too late, now she's just a pile of tasty burgers. Primed and ready for the George Foreman Lean Mean Green Grillin' Machine.