Diary Entry No. 7.1c
Dark Day For Puppies Everywhere

07-01-01

Sea Cap'n Deadbeard, Robot Ron's Pirate pal, got on the news again for setting fire to The Pound. He was there with some Pirate pals and things got a little out of hand. It was a dark day for pound puppies everywhere. I heard The Cap'n has been trying to get in shape lately because he's going to be on Thunder Dome XTreme. It's kind of like American Gladiators, but only on UPN or something, I don't know... I don't watch that crap. But if he wins he's going to win a Grand Rodeo 4x4, which he says he'll use to attack and loot villages (which he's been doing in a Toyota Camry up 'till now - Not quite as efficient for pillaging as a Grand Rodeo 4x4.) He told me his big grand scheme to win, but it's really long and I don't feel like typing it. But it may work! If you see an angry pirate in a Grand Rodeo pull into your driveway run out the back door and never look back. No time to save the children. I'm surprised he's trying to get on television though... I thought he would try to lay low for a while, especially after what went down at the local Tri-County fair. Deadbeard shows up drunk as a skunk and starts shooting Roman candles into the crowd. He killed a baby. The cops were looking for him for weeks, flashing his picture all over the news. The whole time he was just hiding out on his party boat down on Turtle Lake; our local lake, which is dominated by pirates. Nobody complains too much though. Every 4th of July they put on a hell of a fire works show. Breath taking, some would say. If you're ever around on the 4th, Turtle Lake is the place to be. It's right near Spider Rock. On the left.