Diary Entry No. 7.25c
Cold Black Heart


People always ask me... "Robot Frank, do you have no heart?" Let me tell you about my heart... My cold, black heart. My heart has no room for love... Only a tiny tiny little bit, which is reserved; for puppies and kittens. They are what I fight for! For their love.

People sometimes tell me... "Robot Frank, you got a real bad attitude." Well let me tell you about my bad attitude! It makes me suffer on the inside. When I'm all alone, and nobody can hear me cry... And I eat bon-bons. And call psychic hotlines all hours of the night, hoping for just a little bit of comfort. But Miss Cleo never comes though. She just goes on and on about those god damn cards. FUCK THE CARDS.

People often ask me... "Robot Frank, are you ever gonna get your act together?" Well let me tell you about getting my act together, Mister. I can get you 50 cieling fans RIGHT NOW if you want! You just didn't ask, buddy! ...Tellin' me I don't got my act together... I got a full line of whirl-o-matics, all different colors, just waiting to be bought. I invested my neighbors life savings into those (I crept into his house and stole it the night). And you're telling me I don't got my act together? I'm gonna murder your family tonight. And your family's family, and their family too. Then we'll see who doesn't got their act together. WHEN YOUR MOTHERS DEAD. And the baby will be dead too. Aww the new baby boy. Dead. And it's all your fault. Because you ask too many questions. On the tombstones it will say "Asked too many questions... Paid the price." You can count on that. I know the guy that writes the tombstones, and he LOVES my suggestions. Do YOU know him? Didn't think so...