Diary Entry No. 8.10c
Beers & Painkillers = Dead Animals


Hey everybody. I haven't been around lately. I've been house sitting for a friend of mine. They asked me to do the favor, and I knew I could probably throw a few parties over there, so I was up for the task. Let me tell 'ya, things got a little outta hand. The house didn't burn down, luckily, but I can't say the same for their dog. It was a freak accident. I tried to strap rocket boosters onto his legs to make him go faster... I hit "ignite" and that was the end of it. It was all downhill from there. He cried a lot when he was dying. It was like "just shut up and die already". Oh and their cat died too. I ran him over with a lawnmower. That was totally my fault, I shouldn't have been driving the lawnmower after all those beers and pain killers. And in case you're wondering, yes, robots can eat and drink. Or at least I can. I use Microsoft Eating Works 3.0. It now enables me to eat solid foods, unlike v2.0 which only allowed me to eat baby foods. I do still buy the Gerber Banana Creme though. Mmmm. It's delicous, I just can't give it up. That stuff is like crack for robots. Not that I would know. I only sell the stuff.