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I got hit by a truck today. I was running down the freeway scaring traffic and a I guess I took a wrong step and I ended up infront of a Wonder Bread truck. I was so mad I smashed two cars and threw a third right up into a tree. I got the front of me all dented up and I think I'm leaking transmission fluid. I leaked it in McDonalds and some kid fell and broke his nose. I snatched his happy meal and made a quick exit. I got 1 of 450,000 beany babies limited edition. I am going to sell it on ebay for a billion dollars. Some lady will buy it and her husband will be thrilled when he finds out. Then I can pay for a new transmission. Otherwise I have no money I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm really relying on that beany baby thing. Maybe I could sell my neighbor Bob G.'s house on ebay and then watch him fight the man when he comes to move in. I have to go I am busy.
Robot Ron wrote a story for all of his fans. He said it is for them to be happy. So I guess that means Robot Ron fans will enjoy it.
A CRISMAS DREEM COME TRUE.
IT WASS THE WINTER IN THE NIGHT of chstismas day AND THE CHSRITMAS DEER WERE WALKINING ON THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE LITTLE DID THEY KNOW ROBOT RON WOULD JUMP ON IT THEN AND CATCH THE CHRISTMAS DEER AND MAKE HIM GRANT MY SECRET WISHES AND I MADE A SECRET WISH FOR A SECRET SPY SHACK AND FOR A ROBOT RON FIGHT MOBILE AND HE BEEMED ME INTO THE NIGHT AND WE WENT TO THE SECRERT SPY SHACK (AND FIGHT MOBILE) AND THEN THE CRISMAST DEER WANTED TO GO TO BACK TO CRISMAS "I WANT TO GO HOME" CRIED THE CHRISMAS DEER. AND I SAID NO I CATCHED YOU FORVER. tHEN AT THE BEGINNING I MEAN THAT IS WHEN SANTA CLASE SAID YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT BRONSON (THAT WAS THE CRHISTMAS DEERS NAME THAT I CAUGHT I THINK HE SAID) TO FIGHT AT THE NORTH POLE ON PAY PER VIEW AND THE STEAKS WERE HIGH BUT I HAD TO WIN AND I DID IN THE 2ND ROUND WITH A ROBOT SMASHER AND IT WAS A CRISMAS DREEM COME TRUE!!! AND THE PEOPLE DID CHEER
!!GO ROBOT RON!1
I have a little money saved up. I'm thinking about going on voyage to the arctic. Antarctica I believe is a continent, but theres no countries on there. So I think I will go down there with a lawn chair and a pistol and take over. If anyone comes around I'll show them my firearm, put down the beverage and wave my other fist and they'll set sailin'. I will then base all of my operations from my new conquered lands. Antifreeze will be shipped in by plane, and everyone is in big trouble. I'll set up a little town of ice, and it will be real scary looking to non-robots. And we'll find some mystical creatures, like midgets or dwarves to run around the village all day. (Shall they be hunted? We have many things to think about.) All shall be decided soon.
I like Christmas because people give me stuff and I don't even buy anyone anything. Yet every year I receive a big pile of stuff. I already got a few presents from various places, like robot relief fund places, very afraid government officials, and neighbors trying to stay on my good side. The best present I got this year was this little missile set/kit. It doesn't launch big military missiles or anything, just little ones. Big enough to blow up, I'd say a garage, or a single bedroom. Robot Ron got a present a few weeks ago from the Police Dept. Apparently him and the boys down at the fire house kiss their ass or something... Ron got the Goblin Hunter 2000. You can get them down at radio shack, it's like those things people use on their boats for fishing, but it's for hunting in the woods. He's out long into the night with it. I think he's caught a baby bear and a small child so far. He's probably still out right now chasing raccoons.
All the houses on my street just about have lights up. Not all of them of course. Some still have Halloween decorations up. This year the most decorated house caught fire. It was on the same day they hired a Santa to sit on the roof too. It was a real shame. All the kids watched of course, I alert them all right away. You could smell the burning plastic from all the way down the road. And hear the screams from even further.
Robot Ron hangs out down at the Fire Department a real lot and somebody down there managed to talk him into becoming a cub scout master. They always talk him into shit. Like a few weeks ago they talked him into getting a paperboy job. Now I'm stuck delivering papers at 3 in the morning. This past weekend was the big cub scout camping trip. Ron got assigned to five kids. He came back with one. He said one kid they had to give to a bear. He also said he didn't know where the other 3 children were, but maybe still stuck in the river. People have to learn to stop trusting Ron with anything. Entrusting run to things has like a 97% chance tragedy rate. I bet against him surviving everyday. Once somebody paid him to take care of their cat while they were away. They came home and the cat was floating upside down in the pool. Nobody knows what happened but they also found a bowling ball in the bottom of the pool. His explanation mentioned neither cats nor bowling balls, so that one is still a mystery to this day.
It's the Christmas season. I wanted to make some cash and I know there's guys standing outside the mall entrance ringing bells collecting change. Seemed like a good idea. I figured I'd have Ron do it. He's red. So I bought him a Santa hat, a bell, and a red pot, and had him stand outside Wal-Mart all day. He came back with 23 damn cents. I didn't understand how he could only make 23 cents the whole day, so I told him to do it again the next day. Only this day I watched. Turns out, every time that son of a bitch would collect twenty-five cents he would run inside and play Monster Beasts From Space. I watched him for a little while, and he had to have played 40 games. So between two days I probably lost about $50 to Monster Beasts From Space. I was real pissed-off so I unplugged it and sent him back out there, thinking that would solve the problem. He came back later that day with Brittany Spears, 3rd Eye Blind, and Metallica stickers all over him. That dumb fuck just can't help himself I guess.