Elian, with the dad from Fox's "Titus".

Elian Gonzallez is out there! Hiding in a bush or a tree. Scrambling for pokemon. It is evident to me he is a menace. America doesn't need an extra little boy and I do not love him at all, not even a little bit. America looked into it's heart and decided to send him away (Coming to the conclusion "illigal immigrants suck ass, old and young alike." -Press Secretary Pete). "Don't Come Back!" is America's stern warning to that young boy.
If I were Elian I would build a swimming pool made of pure gold. And fill it with all the pokemon under the rainbow. Elian is a millionare in Toys R Us money. They reportedly donated half their "Geofery Dollars" to ensuring Young Elian's bright future. Elian was the saddest thing that ever happend to the world. My heart goes out to that young boy. When Elian finally goes to the big playground in the sky, he will at long last truely be free. God bless him.
His dad in Cuba spent all off his money. What a terrible thing! I don't know this for certain, but it is my fair assumption. What he did with all the money is anyone's guess. I would have blown it all on Soul Calibur down at the arcade. Or on milk shakes & pizza pies. I've always wanted a duck.
Elian needs a home! He could live in:

The Woods: Elian could collect berries.

McDonald's: If you hide in the ball pit you can stay all night.
A Cave: This is very dangerous. Beware young Elian.
Elian Gonzallez is my favorite little boy. He enjoys sports and american cartoons. And professional wrestling as well. I thought I saw him at a pro-wrestling event. He was cheering for The Giant I remember because I was rooting for The Macho Man, as always. Well the Macho Man won that night so I'm sure Elian was devistated. As I had hoped for him to be.

Elian getting ready to drown a puppy. His father sent it to him from Cuba special for this day.
Beware of Elian Gonzallez. Word is spreading The Elian Gonzallez camp may go for a second border penetration attempt. Comments released yesterday by Elian's publicist stated "I am a slippery snake and will creep through the cracks." Bold words from young Elain. The US Government is reportedly sending ninjas to resolve the issue.