Did George Foreman actually MAKE the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat
Grilling Machine? I'm having a hard time believing he did. He's good
at punching faces, but I really doubt he sat in his basement tinkering
away at the perfect grill. "Mmm.. This is a tasty burger, but I think I
could adjust the manual combobulator to reduce the fat glucose intake
of the manifold overdrive hamburger deterioration valve of PUNCH PUNCH
PUNCH PUNCH YO LIGHTS OUT FOOL!"|
I'm sure he eats lots of hamburgers,
that's not whats being questioned here... I just think there's a good
chance he doesn't even know how to turn his own grill on. He has people
to do that kind of crap for him. What made him decide he didn't have
enough money saved from years of pounding the crap out of faces that he
needed to start pimping household appliances?|
"I got punched in the head
a few thousand times. That means now it's time to start selling grills.
Next year I'm going to sell dog houses and cracker jacks prize display
cases, cause I'm the champ!! Clean my patio! Nobody ever cleans my patio like they used to.
I CANT REMEMBER the last time somebody cleaned my patio you lazy
sons-a-bitches that are probably eating hamburgers with twice the fat
as the Lean Mean Fat Grilling Machine. I need my hamburgers with no fat
and lotsa love like only the champ can do best. Oooooh this is a
tasty-love-burger. For the champ. I'm the champ. Of hamburgers AND
punching faces. You FIND me a better burger making face puncher and
I'll knock his lights out and sample his burger and not like it as much
as my own. Chump."|
George Foreman starring in his own detective series "The Foreman Mysteries".
It did even better than Cosby's Mysteries. I think. Or I just made it up.
I saw a commercial for the lean mean fighting fat machine. I don't remember
exactly what George said in it, but it was so funny. It was something
like "I will cook you a dozen burgers in no time flat. Knockout punch, every time!
Your wallet will not hear the bell. You're not gonna pay a lot for a muffler.
Your tasty burgers gonna mmm tasty burgers." (Starts eating a tasty burger)
"Wooooooooooo-EEEEEEE!! Tasty burgers... For the champ."|
Now I personally own the knock out grill machine. It's okay, I mean it didn't
buy me what I ultimately wanted from it, which was happiness. But it did
buy me a little convenience, which is a step in the right direction.
You can use it inside the house; that's handy. So I gotta really hand it to
you George, you did it! (Knock out punch!) You should make other things like
dustbusters and snow shovels. Cause you're an expert.|
is the book George wrote all by himself, called "George Foreman's Big Book
of Grilling Machine..." uh... I dont know I can't make out those tiny words.
"I never said I was an expert! I just said I like this grill!"
- Likely defense.
It's okay George I still like you. You're the champ. (I don't want a knock out
punch. Unless it's in a toaster over.)
If you go to Wal-Mart and they don't have an adequate display (or box pyramid)
for the Fighting Grill, please speak with the manager and tell him about the
knock out punch. And that smart customers want a grill that has a picture of
While perusing the official George Foreman
site, I found this kick ass action figure. I think he only wants like
two-hundred bucks for it. It looks like it's worth $200, doesn't it?
From left to right: George, George,
Baby George, George, George, and George.
It's like a gang. A real tough gang.
George Foreman isn't a normal dude. He has like 7 kids named George, who I'm
sure all can deliver the knock-out punch. I saw his many Georges in a commercial
with Big Papa George The Champ, for Minakee Mufflers. And he trusts them with his many
Georges. Even the baby one, that looks EXACTLY like Big George but just a
little baby. It has the same head. You could probably punch that head twice
and it wouldn't even matter, it's got the head of the champ.|
When you buy a George Foreman Mean Machine you get a free instruction video
on how to cook hamburgers, starring The Champ himself. Now when you watch this,
do not let it slip your mind that George is only officially a boxing expert.
He may wear a chef's hat but don't be deceived. Before that grill came out,
he needed help cooking pop-tarts and toast with butter.
I'm sure he is bad at cooking, and his grill expertise is limited to "Plug
it in." He has people to do all that kind of shit. He's got guys to
carry him around the house and put him in front of the TV probably. I know I would.
I bet he's got one of those coolers in his seat for beer and a snack. That
lazy bastard! And now he wants to sell me a grill?
You should be doing other
things with your time. Like teaching all those Georges to punch each other's
faces really hard. Or maybe make the craziest boy band ever out of them. I
hate that fucking shit but I'd buy that cd if it came out. Because I'll buy anything
with a picture of George Foreman on it. And so will you. Because George Foreman
got us all in his pocket. Now go make a tasty burger, and don't forget the
knock out punch.|
These will make some FINE tasty love burgers, for the champ!