Did George Foreman actually MAKE the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Grilling Machine? I'm having a hard time believing he did. He's good at punching faces, but I really doubt he sat in his basement tinkering away at the perfect grill. "Mmm.. This is a tasty burger, but I think I could adjust the manual combobulator to reduce the fat glucose intake of the manifold overdrive hamburger deterioration valve of PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH YO LIGHTS OUT FOOL!"
I'm sure he eats lots of hamburgers, that's not whats being questioned here... I just think there's a good chance he doesn't even know how to turn his own grill on. He has people to do that kind of crap for him. What made him decide he didn't have enough money saved from years of pounding the crap out of faces that he needed to start pimping household appliances?
"I got punched in the head a few thousand times. That means now it's time to start selling grills. Next year I'm going to sell dog houses and cracker jacks prize display cases, cause I'm the champ!! Clean my patio! Nobody ever cleans my patio like they used to. I CANT REMEMBER the last time somebody cleaned my patio you lazy sons-a-bitches that are probably eating hamburgers with twice the fat as the Lean Mean Fat Grilling Machine. I need my hamburgers with no fat and lotsa love like only the champ can do best. Oooooh this is a tasty-love-burger. For the champ. I'm the champ. Of hamburgers AND punching faces. You FIND me a better burger making face puncher and I'll knock his lights out and sample his burger and not like it as much as my own. Chump."


George Foreman starring in his own detective series "The Foreman Mysteries". It did even better than Cosby's Mysteries. I think. Or I just made it up. Either or...

I saw a commercial for the lean mean fighting fat machine. I don't remember exactly what George said in it, but it was so funny. It was something like "I will cook you a dozen burgers in no time flat. Knockout punch, every time! Your wallet will not hear the bell. You're not gonna pay a lot for a muffler. Your tasty burgers gonna mmm tasty burgers." (Starts eating a tasty burger) "Wooooooooooo-EEEEEEE!! Tasty burgers... For the champ."
Now I personally own the knock out grill machine. It's okay, I mean it didn't buy me what I ultimately wanted from it, which was happiness. But it did buy me a little convenience, which is a step in the right direction. You can use it inside the house; that's handy. So I gotta really hand it to you George, you did it! (Knock out punch!) You should make other things like dustbusters and snow shovels. Cause you're an expert.


This is the book George wrote all by himself, called "George Foreman's Big Book of Grilling Machine..." uh... I dont know I can't make out those tiny words.

"I never said I was an expert! I just said I like this grill!"
- Likely defense.

It's okay George I still like you. You're the champ. (I don't want a knock out punch. Unless it's in a toaster over.) If you go to Wal-Mart and they don't have an adequate display (or box pyramid) for the Fighting Grill, please speak with the manager and tell him about the knock out punch. And that smart customers want a grill that has a picture of the champ.


While perusing the official George Foreman site, I found this kick ass action figure. I think he only wants like two-hundred bucks for it. It looks like it's worth $200, doesn't it?


From left to right: George, George, Baby George, George, George, and George.
It's like a gang. A real tough gang.

George Foreman isn't a normal dude. He has like 7 kids named George, who I'm sure all can deliver the knock-out punch. I saw his many Georges in a commercial with Big Papa George The Champ, for Minakee Mufflers. And he trusts them with his many Georges. Even the baby one, that looks EXACTLY like Big George but just a little baby. It has the same head. You could probably punch that head twice and it wouldn't even matter, it's got the head of the champ.

When you buy a George Foreman Mean Machine you get a free instruction video on how to cook hamburgers, starring The Champ himself. Now when you watch this, do not let it slip your mind that George is only officially a boxing expert. He may wear a chef's hat but don't be deceived. Before that grill came out, he needed help cooking pop-tarts and toast with butter.

I'm sure he is bad at cooking, and his grill expertise is limited to "Plug it in." He has people to do all that kind of shit. He's got guys to carry him around the house and put him in front of the TV probably. I know I would. I bet he's got one of those coolers in his seat for beer and a snack. That lazy bastard! And now he wants to sell me a grill?

You should be doing other things with your time. Like teaching all those Georges to punch each other's faces really hard. Or maybe make the craziest boy band ever out of them. I hate that fucking shit but I'd buy that cd if it came out. Because I'll buy anything with a picture of George Foreman on it. And so will you. Because George Foreman got us all in his pocket. Now go make a tasty burger, and don't forget the knock out punch.


These will make some FINE tasty love burgers, for the champ!