Grave Digger paid his dues. Let it be known. He wasn't raised on lollie pops and hugs and kisses. He lived a rough life. Even for a monster truck named GRAVE DIGGER.

Young Grave Digger was known to get into trouble. Big trouble. He would always say "But I didn't do it!" Was this a lie?* The Monster Truck Police Squad would hear none of it from young Gravedigger and his minions. And remember always that this was back before anti police brutality laws were in effect. Things often got out of hand. Especially for young Grave Digger.

*I forget what I was supposed to write down here.

Back in his early days he lived a simple life on a farm. He did his job on the farm the best he could but his dad still would not love him. And this affected young Grave Digger. Instead of giving him praise and love, he gave Grave Digger nothing but broken promises and screams of hostility. This would forever haunt Grave Digger and even shape who he would become. Even to this day if you bring it up in front of him, he will run you over and dance on your grave.

The only love Grave Digger ever saw in his life was from a puppy he found down by the brook. He would hide it behind the garage so his father could not find it. But one day Grave Digger came home from school and something was wrong. His puppy was not there waiting for him behind the barn. Instead he was ran over. By, you guessed it, his father.

At the age of 16, inspired by a Pat Benitar video, Grave Digger packed his bags, said his part, and ran away from home. He entertained brief stints waiting tables and cleaning up chicken poop at the cock fight saloons. It was around this time that he joined up with a gang. He would spend his days running over rival gang members and shooting up heroin on the streets in front of young children and their curious eyes. Grave Digger was determined to throw it all away and bring as many down with him. It was a brief encounter with John Stamos that ultimately snapped him out of it. They sometimes do lunch. And have sex.

Grave Digger then turned to the Monster Truck Circuit. An idea some say was given to him by John Stamos while visiting him in Malibu for the weekend. Doug E Doug would sometimes question this however. Grave Digger refused to let others stand in his way to fame. He would compete in front of thousands of screaming mad fans and their sad crying babies. Who Grave Digger would sometimes kiss to comfort.

Grave Digger knew in order to be the best Monster Truck Warrior in the land he would have to defeat his long time nemesis Big Foot in the ultimate showdown. I believed they played darts and Grave Digger won. Thus proving his dominant status in the world of Monster Trucks. The most important world of all. Or one of the top 5 or 6 at least. I'm not gonna list them out but it's an estimate.

This is all there is to write about Grave Digger in the entire world. I know this because I have sat for seven days without another single word to write. I am forced to leave you now, just like everyone else in your life. I am sorry it came to this.