I don't wear a costume on Halloween. I'm only in this for the candy, this ain't a fuckin' fashion show. Most of the candy I steal from children that really cant defend themselves. One time a kid threw an egg at me. I made him eat the other 11 (in front of his parents.) Then I stole his candy and his parents wallets. Again, don't be mistaken. This ain't a costume I'm wearing. Robot's own the streets at night. See that little bag I'm carrying with me? I stole it from a toddler. I pushed him over and ran away. Easy as that.


I wake up early every Halloween (around 1:30pm) so I can get a jump start on terrorizing the neighborhood. This is me tearin' it up down my driveway (which I did skate ALL THE WAY DOWN. I didn't just fucking step on the thing and yell "Take a picture!") This is me on my way out, getting ready to smash some mailboxes, egg some cars, T.P. some power lines, and hurt some feelin's.


This is me smashing the McDoogles (my neighbor's) mailbox. They subscribe to all those Martha Stewart magazines and they always have fresh baked cookies and nicely groomed dogs and that kind of stuff. I hate those assholes so they had this coming. They get packages all the time and I'm always wondering what's in them. It makes me so angry. So tonight I will not hold back.


Here's a picture of the toilet paper flying over the power-line. I just wanted to be sure you all didn't think I cheaped out and saved the toilet paper. Hell no, I go through with my stunts. What I didn't manage to take a picture of is when the powerline fell down on top of me as a result of this foolish prank. Now that would have been a great photo. I only take mediocre ones.