HOME- PHOTO ALBUM-DIARY

1-20-00

I hate when I go to see a movie and there is some bastard sitting nearme who's already seen it telling the person next to him "Okay, watch this!"As if the person was going to get up and leave or something, or make a phonecall, just in time for the good part. Then when the good part finally comeshe says "Haha! Wasn't that cool?!" It would have been a whole lot coolerif you kept your damn mouth shut. This guy was doing that through the wholemovies yesterday. An hour into it I got sick of it and threw him down towardsthe front, like near the seats that everyone hates because it breaks yourneck to watch it from that close. My favorite movies are always the ones that are so bad that people throw garbage at the screen. A few weeks backI threw my chair right through it.

I got a dirt bike last week. The only reason I got it is so I can drivearound knocking over all the people that ride their bikes on the side ofthe road and take up half the lane. I'm trying to rid the streets of thosespandex wearing bastards. There's nothing worse than being in a car and havingto slow down because there's traffic coming the other way and there's a idioton a bike in front of you. Now that I have my dirt bike I like to drive upnext to them, let them get a good look (an angry robot is a hell of a scene)yell "AAAHHHH!!!" and then grab their helmet and toss them into the ditch. 

1-12-2000

I got kicked out of the Monster Truck Show yesterday. I waited monthsfor the show to come to town, and when it finally did I got so excited thatI ended up running onto the track and pushing over the trucks that I wanted to lose. I am a big Grave Digger fan. I wanted to ensure that it didn'tlose.

Next month I hear the circus is coming to town. I can't wait. I wonderif they will let me ride the elephants. I will have to try to restrain myself.I've only seen elephants once, at the zoo, but that was back when I did'tlike elephants and I got thrown out for throwing rocks at them.

1-5-2000

I got a letter today telling me I am being taken to court by the GirlScouts of America. I hate those stupid bitches. That's why I threw theircookies into the road in the first place. If they ever come back I'll dothe same thing. They don't scare me with their Thin Mints and nasty lawyers.When they came to my door I explained to them that I hate cookies and theyshould go away. I said "Listen you stupid asses, I'm a robot. What the hellwould I do with cookies?" but they still tried to convince me I should buysome because it would help raise money to fund their trip to club-med or one of those gay places. I hope they fall of the trapeze and break theirnecks, stupid girl scouts. 

1-3-2000

Alright, I'm still alive, and unfortunately so are all of you. I wasreally hoping somehow I would survive, but people would get killed, and thenall that would be left would be robots that made it through and we wouldrule the world. I was going to campaign for "Robot Leader" because I feelI have a lot of leadership qualities. Like I can rule with an iron fist,and I can yell a lot, and I can break things easily with only one hand, allof which are qualities to look for in the leader of the new world.

But since that isn't happening, it looks like I'm going to be stuck underyour rules. I went to Taco Bell today on a 3 dollar budget. I don't eat,but I needed to do some last minute, or late christmas shopping. I walkedout with three bagfuls and a dollar left over. Then I went down to the gas station to fill up (yes, I run on gas) and some stupid guy kept asking meall these questions as I was filling myself up. That's kind of awkward forme. Like to be there with a hose connected to your body, filling it up withgas, meanwhile some jerk is standing there saying "Why are you using regular?Don't you care about yourself? Shouldn't you be using Premium?" I told himto go to hell. He then told me to continue using regular.