Robot Ron is a good friend of mine. I met him a few years agoat the mall. I was there to shop, he was there because the Easter Bunny was signing autographs that day. He lives right down the road from me,down at the fire house. They let him stay there, I don't know why. He thinks he's a fireman, even though all he does to help them is testout the pole every day and wake them up if the fire alarm goes off, as ifthey weren't going to get up anyway... But he think's he's helping andthats all that really matters I guess.

They let him ride in the backof the fire truck once. He talked about it for months. He never shutsup about it. Thats probably why they never let him ride in it again.

Robot Ron gets on my nerves a real lot. He's not as bright as otherrobots... People often ask me where he is from. I honestly don't know.He wasn't made by the same people that made me though. Whenever I askhim where he's from, he replies "I live down the street". Either he's an idiot, orhe's dodging the question. I'm guessing he's an idiot.

This is a picture from the time I tried to send Ron to Florida. Iwas tired of him and I decided I didn't want to hang out with him anymore,so it would be best for both of us if he got the hell out of my town. He never made it to Florida, but he came home with junk from all over the country... Like a picture of him climbing Mt. Rushmore, and a t-shirt thatsaid "I survived Hurricane Hugo". Way to go Robot Ron. You did it. Stupid ass...I think he was proud of that too. He's always happy about something, it doesn't take much.

Robot Ron is happy to be on the internet. At least I think he is. I told himand he laughed and stuff but I'm not sure if he knows what it all means... He likes to play games on the computer (especially Fuji Golf, that's his favorite.) I told himto write a little something for his website... He can't read or write too well, but hegets by if he really tries. Here it is:

HELLO! I am Robot Ron! This is my website I hope that you like it beacuse it isthe best! My name is Robot Ron and I like to play on the comupter at golf and my favoriteTV show is Ninja Death Warriors. I like ninjas because they are so sneaky and they can killyou and you wouldnt even know because it would be a secret because ninjas are real quiet. Someday I want to be on Ninja Death Warriors because I am a ninja too. I always do theNinja Suicide Kick to people that I see. People are so stupid!!!!!! I can just kick them and they will fall down and make pain faces!! HA HA HA! Me and Frank (he is my friend) hit peopleall the time. Frank hits everyone when he gets mad all the time.


This is Robot Ron trying to be a ninja. He's only done one successful attempt of the "Suicide Kick" and that was to our neighbor's dog, Rocket. He usually fights Rocket when there's no people around to attack. One time Rocket's owner came out to get his mail and there was Ron on the front lawn hitting his dog with a stick, yelling "Hi-Ya" and shit. Ron didn't know what to do so he tried to use his Ninja Stealth Skills to hide behind a telephone poll. The guy saw him and shot him with the garden hose. Now every once in a while Robot Ron goes into convolutions, we think some circuits might be fried or something. I always tell him if hewere a real ninja he would have dodged the water and mysteriously vanished. He said real ninjas hang around and fight itout or something like that.. So I guess he wanted to stay there and chill a while or something. What a liar.

Me showing Ron what I think of his Ninja skills.